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Glassjaw’s cardboard ultimatums – the truth is out there

July 31, 2010

Why am I getting g-mail from Cardboard City?

>>MP3: Glassjaw – You Think You’re John Fucking Lennon
<<FROM: The yet to be announced album this may or may not be a tease for (unreleased)

>>MP3: Glassjaw – The Number No Good Things Can Come Of (Beat Scientific Remix)
<<FROM: Another Daryl Palumbo side project record that didn’t quite see light of day that would have been called ‘Student of the Drums‘ and probably would have been really fucking good (unreleased)

I don’t know what’s more disturbing about this postcard(board) I found in my mailbox earlier this week.

The fact that Glassjaw (presumably Glassjaw, anyway- that ‘g’ is quite unmistakable, as is the Cardboard City reference) are sending out nerdgasmic postcards of cardboard, or the fact that Glassjaw has my new address in Connecticut.

I did not call them and inform them of my move earlier this year, and I can’t think of how they would where to snuff me out. I mean, I would have informed them of my address change if I knew they’d be sending out cards with cutout g’s in them to keep teasing me with the slippery prospect of a new album that is more of a unicorn than an album I’m expecting to hear any time soon. But I think it’s pretty obvious what’s happening here. I’m being tailed by Glassjaw. And there is no distance I can go to outrun them. There is no place to hide. My days are numbered, and Glassjaw are counting them down.

So if you’re with me, and you also got one of these, be mindful. Keep an eye in your rear view. Peak out your blinds before you turn in. Lock your doors. Don’t use your phones, they’re probably tapped. If you can reach your parents, somehow, let them know you love them. We don’t yet  know what it means, but Glassjaw is most certainly up to something. And we probably are not safe.

What do you think it all means? The truth is out there.

Also, mysterio-marketing is a beautiful thing.

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One Comment leave one →
  1. Aaron permalink
    August 5, 2010 8:03 pm

    holy shit!!! i just read the exact same thing that happen to me. the address change and everything..

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